Sharing is caring....maybe not

Johnny made Jakson some breakfast and I jokingly said to Jakson "Daddy didn't even make me some breakfast, can I have one of your sandwiches? (he had a sandwich cut in half)
Jakson looked at his sandwich and than looked at me and said "you can have a bite" I thought 'awww how nice that he will share with me even if it is just a bite' but than he looked down again and back to me and said "but mummy, my sandwich is hot, too hot for you I think"

I guess sharing only goes so far....and not as far as his food! LOL

The police!

While watching a DVD in the car Jakson is very good and multitasking and still listening to the conversation we are having in the front, however this time he probably should have payed a bit more attention.....

Me: I'm so tired

Johnny: me too

Jakson: are you both tired because I woke you up soooo early?

Me & Johnny: YES!

Jakson: did I just wake up and climb into your bed and cuddle you

Me: no Jaks you woke up early, climbed into our bed and wriggled around a lot

Jakson: did that just wake you up

Me: yes

Jakson now tunes out and keeps watching his DVD meanwhile Johnny and I start talking about our neighbour who was doing some sort of metal work including grinding and making lots of loud noise up until 11.30pm when Johnny went over and asked him to stop

Me: I was about to call the police on him if he hadn't stopped
Jakson: (sounding very alarmed) call the police! but they would make me stay in my bed forever or they will put me in jail

Johnny: what are you talking about Jakson??

Jakson: mummy said she was going to call the police

Johnny: yeah

Jakson: but I don't want her to call the police

Me: but the man was being very noisy

Jakson: was I just being too noisy in your bed?

Johnny: Jakson why do you think mummy was going to call the police?

Jakson: to come and get me

Me: no Jakson, I wasn't going to call the police on you

Jakson: good because I don't want to go to jail

The kid knows.....

Jakson asked me if when I get a baby in my tummy, will it be a boy baby or a girl baby
I asked him what would he like it to be and this conversation followed:

Jakson: a girl baby

Me: why a girl Jakson

Jakson: because girls are the boss

Johnny: boys can be boss too Jakson

Jakson: no daddy,  boys are just awesome

Johnny: boys can be awesome and the boss

Jakson: I don't think so daddy

Johnny: why don't you think so?

Jakson: because mummy is a girl and she is always the boss

what can I say, the kid knows his stuff! lol

Jakson will not be helping to pick baby names ;)

Talking with Jakson tonight we asked him if he wants a brother or sister, he didn't want to pick just one so he said he wants me to have three babies!

I asked him what he wants to name the babies and he replied with 'wee wee & poo poo' now you would think that those two names would have been the odder ones out of the three but nope the third one was more strange because you see the third one was 'taco'!

Blah Blah

After picking Jakson up from kinder we were in the car and he was telling me how his teacher told him off for playing with the water.

Jakson said to me, and I will add that he said it with a bit of attitude lol 'and than Blah Blah said I have to go sit at the table' I asked him to repeat himself and he once again said that Blah Blah told him off.

After telling Johnny the story, we couldn't think of who he was calling Blah Blah and or why.......that was until we went to kinder the next day and realised he was talking about his teacher Barbara! LOL

Hitting Jakson

I just said to Johnny "Jakson's blog is getting a lot of hits", well our little man overheard this and turned very sharply to me and said

"who is trying to hit me?" and I said "my friends are", looking very concerned Jakson said to me "why do your friends want to hit me?", wanting to know what he was thinking I asked him "I don't know, what are you going to do to stop them?" now I probably wasn't prepared for his reply.....


........."I will just be very noisy and they will die!"

Quick thinker

Our little Jaksy man has been very cheeky lately and the other night he was getting a bit carried away being the 'dad' and came up and smacked me.....Johnny quickly said to him 'did you just smack mummy?'
Jakson's very quick witted reply was 'No, I was just giving mummy's bum a Hi5' LOL

Ewwww

Johnny and I walked into the kitchen and Jakson jumped up from under the table and instantly Jakson jumps up and says I wasn't doing anything (cause that is the natural reaction of a person not up to something )

Johnny: Jakson, what were you doing?
Jakson: nothing (darting looks between Johnny and I )
Me: Jaks, tell us the truth please
Jakson: eating 
Johnny: what were you eating?
Jakson: points to his nose, at that point I had to leave the kitchen....YUK!
Johnny: did you pick your nose and eat it?
Jakson: maybe 
Johnny: did you?
Jakson: yes, calling out to me "sorry mummy"

Farts are scared of the dark!

bet you never knew that!


Jakson has been farting soooo much tonight, I have never heard someone (child or adult) fart this much before!

He is seriously doing one like every 20 minutes at least for the last few hours!

I've told him to go to the toilet to do a poo and this is what he told me

'my poos aren't ready, my farts are just coming out now because it's nearly dark and they are scared of the dark'!

No arguments!

Jakson: daddy, I want to watch my show 
Johnny: well you can wait until I have finished watching my show
Jakson: daddy, I'm not going to argue this with you!

Jail

After Jakson and I got into an argument

Jakson: well I will just call the police to put you under arrest
Me: Ok, call them
Jakson: and they will put you in jail
Me: Ok, go for it
Jakson: I don't know their number, mummy what's the number for the police
Me: I'm not going to tell you
Jakson: because you will miss me if you go to jail
Me: will you miss me?
Jakson: yes, I will miss you so much
Me: I will miss you too
Jakson: please don't go to jail mummy

Oops!

I was outside this afternoon trying to get some things from the garage and I was having 'issues' with the fricken dog (Molly)!

anyway, Jakson came out to help me and my frustration I must have been.....um, lets say not the greatest role model


Jakson went inside and in a very matter of fact way said to Johnny 'Daddy, Molly is a fucking bitch!'



Poor Johnny couldn't even tell Jakson not to say it because he was so shocked that he just started laughing

Apparently Musicals are still the go :)

Jakson and Johnny just had a conversation
 
Johnny: Pack up your toys please Jakson
Jakson: I'm still playing
Johnny: It's time to pack them up please or you will go straight to bed
Jakson: mummy, daddy is being mean to me
Me: Daddy is not being mean, he asked you to pack up your toys or you will go to bed, that is not being mean
Jakson (to Johnny): well Daddy, you'd better watch out, you'd better not cry........(now starting to sing).....you'd better not pout I'm telling you wwwwhhhhhyyyyy.......

He than proceeded to sing the entire song while moving around the lounge room like it was a musical

Is he trying to give me a heart attack?!

That child of mine!!! arghhh


I went to weigh myself and got the fright of my life when very big numbers came up!

Someone (and I will take an educated guess and say Jakson) changed it from KG's to Pounds!


Bloody child giving me a heart attack!

Moments that start out sweet..........

.........but don't end the same way

Jaks came up to cuddle up to me and asked me to sing him a Jakson song, so I made one up about him

Jakson is my gorgeous son,
He is my number one
He is beautiful and oh so cute
Mummy and daddy love him so much
He is our cheeky Jaksy man

Jakson than decided to sing a song about me


My mummy is beautiful and I love her
She does wee wee's on her head
and she does poo poo's on her head
and she does smelly farts on her head

Not the song I was hoping for!


His song was hysterically funny of course!

Big trouble!

Jakson: mummy, daddy said a rude word
Me: ok well tell him off than
Jakson: daddy, I'm going to count to three and than you will be in big trouble
Me & Johnny:
Jakson: (very sternly) 1
Me: What happens when you count to three?
Jakson: Daddy will be in big trouble
Me: What does that mean?
Jakson: It means he is in big trouble
Me: But what does big trouble mean?
Jakson: It means I count to three
Me: But what happens when you get to the end of three?
Jakson: Daddy, mummy is annoying me

A bit inpatient

Jakson: daddy can you please help me
Johnny: yep, I'll be there is a second
Jakson: daddy, I DON'T want to have to tell you again

An odd conversation

Jakson: mummy, I'm not married yet
Me: no Jaks your not
Jakson: I think I will just get married after my birthday. It has to be your birthday first and than mine and before daddy's birthday we will have my wedding (Jakson and DH's birthdays are a week apart - it looks like it will be a busy week for us )
Me: um ok than
Jakson: and you can wear a yellow dress this time
Me: what will you and daddy wear than? (at our wedding we got him into a suit by telling him it was a "fat controller suit")
Jakson: um, I think this time we will just wear Thomas suits
Me: ok than
Jakson: good

Respect

Jakson: mummy, do you respect me?
Me: um....yes of course I do
Jakson: do you respect me because I did a good job picking up my toys?
Me: um (getting more confused) yes, Jakson who tells you about respect
Jakson: The Fat Controller, cause if you don't respect me than I'm not a really useful engine

Businessman in the making?

Jakson goes to kinder with his cousin Maddy, and the two of them are inseparable! We have been trying really hard to encourage him to play with the other children and not just Maddy.

He came home last week and told me he played with one of the other children and we were so happy that we brought him a "surprise" present (and by surprise I mean we took him to the shop and he picked it out )
anyway yesterday we were going to the shop and Johnny gave Jakson $2, somehow Jakson thought is was for another surprise present for playing with the other children (we didn't correct him, just kept going with his theory of why Johnny gave him the coin)
So today in the car I was taking Jakson to kinder and this is how the conversation went

Jakson: If I play with the other kinders I will get a surprise
Me: We love you playing with the other kinders, but you don't get a surprise everytime
Jakson: Well I'll just have the money than

A bit competitive

We had a little friend Thomas over who was about 18months old at the time, now Jakson loves Thomas like a little brother and I guess that's why he gets a little competitive with him, lol

Jonhhy was watching Thomas walking and he was getting excited and called out to me 'look how many steps Thomas is taking' Jakson than stood up and said "Daddy, daddy, look what I can do" and walked from one end of the room to the other

A day with Jakson

Reasons why I should not take Jakson with me when I have things to do:

1) Eyebrow Wax
- Jakson asked continual questions about what we were doing there. I explained to him that we were going to see a lady that would fix mummy's eyebrows.
Of course this lead to lots of 'whys' and 'whats" so I explained that mummy's eyebrows look like boy eyebrows and the lady would fix them and make them look like girl eyebrows.
Well I did not expect that he would than announce this over and over again in the middle of the pharmacy (a very big and busy pharmacy)!
"mummy, why did you have boy eyebrows?" "mummy you are a girl, not a boy cause you don't have a doodle" "mummy why was the lady painting your eyebrows" etc....YAY!


3) Underwear Shopping
OMG! why o why did I think this would be a good idea???
"mummy, do you need big undies or little ones" "mummy you can't have Dora ones cause they are too small" "mummy, I don't wear undies I just wear jockeys on my cute bum" "mummy, sometimes my doodle falls out of my jockeys"
than suddenly I hear; beep, beep, beep help me mummy my coaches are stuck in the undies (he is pretending to be a train and backed into the underwear rack) "help me mummy I'm stuck in the undies"

arggghhhhhh


3) Trip to the Doctors (ok so I couldn't avoid this one because he had to see the doctor)
Firstly he tells everyone "I have to see the doctor for my water poos, it's called dia-ear' he wasn't even there for his "water poos"
Than he said he wanted to sit on a different seat so I said he can and I will watch him. So he goes and sits on another seat and than burst into tears He walks back to me and tells me he is sad because he was so lonely on the seat by himself and he just missed me so much
Someone eles name gets called at the doctors and Jakson looks at me laughing and says "that's our name mummy" I said "no it's not, your name is not Antonietta" and Jakson than says "no, cause that's a really funny name"

Jakson to the rescue!

If there is ever an emergency I know I can count on my little superhero Jakson!


We were at my sisters having a BBQ for NYE  and we had all just finished eating when massive grey/black clouds suddenly came overhead and wind that was like a tornado! It was all so sudden and very scary.

Everyone quickly went into pack-up mode, grabbing everything off the tables, stacking the chairs etc...

I saw Jakson run to the table grab the loaf of bread and run inside saying 'I've got it, I've got the bread'

I went inside not long after him and heard him talking to his 4yr old cousin, this is what he was saying
"and than the storm came and I ran and got the bread and ran inside fast, I saved the bread Maddy'


He was just so proud of himself

Yes Jakson, I know I'm not deaf!

Listening to the radio last week we were listening to Hamish and Andy and they were talking about their See No Evil, Hear No Evil challenge where one of them would lose their sight and one would lose their hearing for the weekend.

Well Jakson thought they said dead (which is a word he knows we don't like to use) so we had to explain to him that they said deaf, not dead. We than had to explain what deaf meant....well OMG! Nearly everyday I'll say something to him and he'll tell me he can't hear me because he is deaf now I have learnt a way of dealing with this:

- I say do you want a lolly? suddenly he can hear again!

Well today in the car the little smarty pants got me didn't he!

He was jabbering on about something and I said 'sorry mummy didn't hear you' to which he replied:
'mummy, you are NOT DEAF! I know you can hear me, if I say do you want a lolly you would hear me' in a very tone!